[i] LoveLife

Hello Spring? Are you out there?

I'm hoping that May means Spring is here to stay. I feel a bit springy in my step, but I am getting a little bit tired snow. Yes, even me. I am impatiently waiting for the apple and cherry blossoms that make the coming of Spring official.

Until then, I am painting winter scenes and winter's bears. That's okay, too.

If you were a fan of the BE poster in my ARTshop - this is a new design offered at DENY Designs. It's definitely a bright addition to your bedroom! Wowza!

Today: I am a student learning things outside my comfort zone. AND, I am welcoming in May by visiting with a few of my favourite friends. Welcome May. Please bring blossoms.

GO!

Shadow + light = hardwork.

Life is kind of a genius. It's this constant flow between shadow and light. In my favourite art class of my entire existence and earth was when I was 12 years old. She blew my mind wide open. The instructor stated that there are no such things as lines in reality. Everything is just a relationship. Everything is a interpretation of that comparison. Everything that looks like a line - is really just where contrasting forces meet. Light and dark. The sea and the sky type philosophy. Good and evil. Night and day. Positive and negative space.

And that remains true.

I have been working very hard on a few of my projects and LOW AND BEHOLD - they are surpassing my expectations. How radical is that? That's a big fat sigh from this excited mama.

Today: I am painting, reading, sharing and celebrating. I wish you the same.

GO!

I refer to her as Stella.

This is a photo from my iPhone. THIS is the closest I've ever been to a polar bear. I call her Stella. THIS is the moment when I started off down a rabbit hole of polar bears and polar bear politics and polar bear research and polar bear psychology. And all the other bits. The whole mess is fascinating. And maddening. And saddening. And pretty wild.

Polar bears are amazing - more amazing that I ever imagined.

Today: at my easel. There are painting to be made.

GO!

Upward + onward.

I spent a good number of hours under this dog pile on the weekend. I was having a bit of a mental crisis. And by bit I mean I was pretty beat up. I thought it was a pity-party, but really it was a time-is-of-the-essence panic attack. My medication was lightened to help my liver out. And it did not go well. I was in a nice place with the meds + workload and felt like I naively (and pompously) thought I beat this autoimmune-disease-with all-kinds-of-complications like a boss.

But I haven't. Not even close. And the flashback threat of just how bad I was feeling last year caused me to meltdown into a puddle of broken-hearted tears. I am not going there again.

So, after enough time under these unreasonably warm French bulldogs - I have decided to just run like the freakin' wind head on into whatever kind of shit storm this is and give it every single thing I have because I won't go down without a paintbrush in my hand. And I will be swinging it.

Today: I have painting to do.

GO.

Meme.

I was inspired Jessica McDougall and her post about what was happening in and around here. Here's my take on a lovely Friday. (Photo from a location check for a possible home for the polar bear art show. Nice, right?)

*

What's on my...

VANITY | I have a family photo, a set of antlers, a very beautiful clutch from Grace Design, my favourite facial moisturizer from Rocky Mountain Soap Company and about one thousand hair elastics.

PERENNIAL TO DO LIST | Paint. Return emails. Get groceries. Paint.

REFRIGERATOR SHELVES | Almond milk. Apples. Celery. Rye bread + cheddar cheese (for the girls). I'm gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free so it's mostly veggies for me. Whomp. Whomp.

ITINERARY | Other than a couple of trips West this summer and a getaway to the mountains - I will be grounded for the rest of 2013. Oooops. That's not true! I'm going back to the Subarctic to see the bears this summer/fall. Maybe both.

FANTASY ITINERARY | The Arctic Circle. Arctic. Gosh, I'd die if I could go on an adventure up there. With maybe a little time to warm my bones on Maui afterward?

PLAYLIST | DeadMa5. At the moment these tunes are keeping me focused and on task.

NIGHTSTAND | I'm rereading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown (as a hardcover book) and The Power of Starting Something Stupid by Richie Norton as an ebook. ;)

WORKOUT PLAN | I do Pilates six days a week to help me deal with some damage to my spine from a fall. I have a private instructor that comes twice a week to train me on my own reformer and I have a sessions that I do by myself 4 other days. I try to ride my exercise bike three times a week for 60 minutes. I am on a "no-impact" diet and rock out on really fun horizontal trampoline to maintain bone density. Pilates has changed my life and I'm a diehard.

IPHONE | Instagram. MailBox. Rdio. Texts.

TOP 5 LIST | Focus. Seeing the synchronicity. Moving slowly with the girls. Adventures. Pilates.

BUCKET LIST | Get back to the Arctic. I want to explore and learn more about the North. More adventures with friends & my kids & family. A trip with Dan. A an epic polar bear art show.

MIND | Polar bears. Painting. My hands are fritzing out and it's causing me a lot of anxiety. Finishing my Tedx talk. Polar bear painting. Polar bear politics. Medications and autoimmune disease - and what a pain in the butt that is. Spring - what a welcome change that will be!

WALLS OF YOUR FAVORITE ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE | Our walls are white or all black. With a few Nordic style patterns mixed in. It's a nice place for paintings.

LIQUOR SHELF | Red, red wine. Although, it's been almost a month since I had a glass...

LAST CREDIT CARD STATEMENT | Groceries. Gas. Paint.

SCREENSAVER | The fliqlo clock. It's a  screen saver found here. It's been on my machine for so long I would feel naked without that big clock behind me while I paint.

TV EVERY NIGHT | We don't have cable. I don't watch TV much at all. Dan and I share a bowl of popcorn and sit together on the couch on Friday nights to watch The Office and Modern Family on Apple TV.

Whew. What are you answers?

*

Today: I am writing, painting and scouting a few more locations for the polar bear art show. And then an evening out with Dan. Good day on the horizon.

GO!

Quiet.

I have a heaviness in my heart. Bombs at the finish line of a marathon are not something I would have ever imagined. But, I never imagined people would fly planes into buildings or massacre children in their kindergarten classrooms either. So much sadness... This is a world broken-hearted.

Yesterday seemed to be a stream of vivid reminders that we, as humans, can be horrible creatures; to our planet, to our souls and to each other.

We can be incredibly loving beings, too. I have to believe that.

Today: I'm going to spread love in as many ways as I can think of. Are you with me?

Go.

Comic relief.

OH POET. Just to break up the cycle of nasty-looking bears here is a 15 second conversation with Poet and a pair of her new favourite glasses. She's two. She's the littlest sister of three. She's a tiny comedian. She's got a subtle, dry, elusive sense of humour that kills me. I am pretty sure that she is my tiniest soulmate. She gets me. I get her. We are happily on the same wavelength. (Strangely enough she is only 5 days from her Dad's date of birth and also shares her birthday with another one of my most favourite beings!)

To most, she's a very, very quiet and very, very serious (to the point of making folks uncomfortable). 

But if you have been accepted into her inner sanctum of beings - she's the funniest little ham there is.

Come to think of it - that's a lot like Dan, too.

Today: scheduling, lists and working-intensely just got real. The art show is targeting October now. I have this little fun thing is finally out of the bag and two more awesomely, awesome but not-yet-for-public-consumption projects on the go.

GO!

Listening + feeling.

The series of polar bear paintings that I am working on this year - are an opportunity for me to play with all of the areas of my brain. To stretch myself out instead of trying to fit into a box. This guy is a big challenge for me because I want to see how loose I can leave him - while creating a specific feeling. I want to convey a sense of urgency. I'm trying to marry over-worked and under-worked. And I'm trying to just go with the flow and learn more about whatever it is these bears are trying to teach me.

Truthfully, this is not where I imagined I would be: painting polar bears. And yet it is awesome. Surprisingly awesome and peaceful. And full of determination and power. I feel very intense. I don't know where it is coming from.

Just that I am listening.

Today: paint, polar bears, planning.

GO!

Building from blank.

Hello hump day. I have a new canvas on my easel today. The underwater bear is done and it left me feeling pretty jacked about life. So the next painting has a bit more of a ferocity that I'm going to try to parlay into a work of art. I think I have found my wave of momentum.

That feels pretty good to say.

And you know I must still be feeling high from the last canvas because I don't normally like to show stages like this. So crude. Personally, I love the gestural feel and energy. I plain old love it. And I would like to leave it like this... but I feel like I need to take the story deeper. This bear will (hopefully) leave you feeling a tad worried.

Today: painting, pilates and returning emails. OH YEAH - the WHEN YOU LOVE print is back in stock in my ARTshop. Time to get messy.

GO!

Swimming with the big bear.

My task for the rest of the week hangs in the balance of this sweet underwater bear. He's alright. This canvas used to be something else. Actually, it used to be a dark grey hole that represented a dark deep black place for me... and now I'm feeling a solid amount of inner peace because it has turned into a personal favourite. I worked really hard. It's a painting worth seeing up close because the bubbles and the the way the movement in the water leaves you feeling - is very palpable. And I'm proud of it. And I could have signed it on Friday and moved on... but I think I'm going to putter (and just spend some time in his presence) with a few things until I'm ready to get this guy off my easel so I can start something else.

The next one up - she is a rock star.

Today: Putter. Stretch. Script.

GO!